Looking Back

It's crazy to think that I've been home for over a week now. The day after I got home, some family friends of ours from Canada came to stay with us for a week. We went to a lot of Californian tourist attractions (places like Hollywood, the beach and Downtown Disney) that were great fun, but big culture shocks for me after being in Asia for a month! The first few days home, I missed the girls really badly and broke down in tears at the littlest things that reminded me of them. I think most of the crying had to do with jet lag, but I still get teary eyed whenever I look through pictures or tell people about my experiences. I had a great time with our friends for the week, but it wasn't until today when I finally got to debrief and spend quality time with my family after the trip. I spent most of the day creating a slideshow presentation of pictures from the trip and finished writing a song that I started in Thailand. After a month in Thailand and then a week of spending the night with friends, I'm looking forward to finally getting a long night of sleep tonight!
Let me go ahead and tell you guys about my last five days in Thailand. I'm glad you guys aren't watching me write this, because I know that I'm going to be in tears at some point while writing this letter. Okay, I think that the last day I told you guys about was Friday (the twenty-sixth,) so that would bring us back to Saturday, July twenty-seventh.
On Saturday, we started out the day by teaching English to the girls. I was actually really dreading this, because I knew that it would be the last English class I'd be teaching to the girls (although I'd be teaching the staff on Monday.) After gathering up my students, we reviewed the last three weeks of English class together and played a game to see who could get through the alphabet the fastest. After a winner was declared, I gathered the girls in a circle and got Peace to translate for me while I spoke to the girls. I explained to them that this was our last English class before I was going to leave on Wednesday. I meant for it to be a celebration, but everyone ended up crying instead. We prayed one at a time in a circle, with me ending the session. Many tears were shed as we reflected on our time together in English class. I passed around lollipops and we played UNO to celebrate the girl’s progress and success that they had made over the last three weeks. We took so many pictures that morning that my camera ended up dying within an hour. After a few hours of UNO, we had lunch before the girls all went down for a nap. Peace taught me how to play two more Thai worship songs. We had a lot of fun together! I felt even closer to Peace after this time together than I had before. That evening after worship we had a movie night with all of the girls and the older girls spent the night again afterwards (May, Natnaree, Tawan, Cream, MooMoo and Ying.) We painted toenails, watched Mr. Bean, made bracelets and played UNO. After a fun-filled evening, we closed in prayer and turned out the lights for the night. 
On Sunday we had a great church service with the girls out on the front porch. Surprisingly, I woke up during the middle of the night with another eye infection. However, this time both eyes were infected. I had a sense of peace this time, however, because I'd already been through the experience so I knew everything would be okay. That morning after church, Peace took me to the doctors and we got some stronger medicine for my eyes. After getting the meds, we ate lunch and the girls went down for nap. After some downtime, the girls got up and we played Red Light Green Light and Steal The Bacon with them. That evening we joined them for dinner and I gave them some Lei necklaces that I brought with me for the girls. They loved them and ended up wearing them mostly as crowns instead of necklaces! That evening after worship, the girls took us by surprise and washed our feet. 
When they brought in the basins and we realized what was happening, I immediately got chills. The girls divided into four rows, one for each staff member. The girls in my row that would wash my feet were Moomoo, Ern, Natigan, Pot, Chai, Pulu and Natnaree. They were all girls that I had really strong connections with over the last three weeks. Each of the staff also washed and prayed over our feet.
It was an entirely different experience, having them wash our feet instead of us washing theirs. Both were powerful, but there was just something extremely touching about receiving such a humble act of service and biblical act of love from the hands of orphans. My immediate reaction was to spring out of my seat and tell them that I should be the one washing their feet instead. At that moment, I felt God telling me to stay still and take a moment to just receive. 
The next girl to wash my feet was five-year-old Chai. She was one of the girls at the orphanage with a darker history. Despite her past, she was one of the easier girls to connect with because of her bubbly personality. However, during the entire trip, I never once got to see her softer side. That was about to change. As five-year-old Chai bent down on her knees to wash my feet, I immediately started bawling my eyes out. It was such an intensely spiritual moment. As she looked up into my eyes, I was shocked to see tears streaming down her face. I was finally seeing the softer side of Chai. We couldn't speak the same language, but I knew exactly what she was trying to communicate. She loved me so, so much. After she dried my feet, I reached down and picked her up in my arms. We both cried together and exchanged sweet simple words. However, I knew that no words could ever describe how much love I had for her and all of her 'sisters' here at the orphanage. 
Over the last few weeks, the girls had taught me so many life lessons... more lessons than I could ever teach them in English class. They taught me how to love unconditionally. They taught me how to serve others with a cheerful heart. They taught me how to stop and smell the roses and how to appreciate the little things in life. I also left Thailand with a new love and appreciation for my family (especially my relationship with my mother and father.)
On Monday, Anna and I got up early and walked the girls to school. I had fun riding the motorbike back home with Hy after she took the younger girls to their kindergarten. After getting home, we taught English to the staff and Mrs. Joyce taught sewing afterwards. For the rest of the morning, Pastor Dave had a meeting with the staff, giving us girls some downtime. After downtime we had lunch, then played a game of Steal The Bacon with the girls after they got home from school. We had worship time that evening, team bible study, and then headed off to bed.
On Tuesday, Anna and I got up early to walk the girls to school for the last time. It was really emotional for both of us, knowing that this was the last time (this summer, at least) that we’d be walking this road and holding these hands. After getting home, we taught English to the staff for the last time, Joyce taught her last sewing class and Dave had another meeting with the Sending Hope staff.
After staff meeting, our team treated the staff to lunch. We came home and some guests came over to get advice from Dave and Joyce for their orphan home that they were starting. After the guests left, Anna and I blew up balloons and wrote one girl’s name on each balloon, leaving them on the ground for the girls to discover after getting home from school. After balloons, Anna and I helped Peace on her computer.
While helping Peace, I really bonded with the younger girls. While Anna worked on the computer, I ended up wrestling, tickling, chasing and giving piggyback rides to the six younger girls (and Fii.) I especially bonded with Rachelle (who was initially standoffish with me this month,) Nowang, Pulu and Chai. Anna and I then joined the girls for dinner.
After dinner, Natnaree helped me list off the full name, nickname, hill tribe, grade and birthday of each girl at Sending Hope, while the other girls played Fruit Ninja on my phone. After writing the list, we went to worship and Anna and I gave out our cards. I gave each girl a card and a picture of my family. We then worshipped and all of us cried our eyes out.
I gave each of the older girls five verses that I thought they needed to hear. After worship, Pastor Dave preached on one of the verses that I gave May. I thought that was a God thing. After worship, we took pictures with the girls. Time flied by so fast sobbing and giving hugs, that I was shocked when Dave said that it was getting late and that we really needed to head back to the guesthouse. I gave a few more hugs, and then headed to the door. My heart broke as I closed the door and the girls looked back at me, their hearts just as broken as mine. Anna and I walked back solemnly to the guesthouse, then broke down in tears as soon as we sat down on the couch for bible study. It was a really pathetic scene, to be honest. We then had a short bible study with Pastor Dave before he asked to talk one on one with each me and Anna to debrief on the trip. I was the first to debrief and we had a great conversation, reflecting on the month and all of the life lessons I had learned while in Thailand and Cambodia.
The next day, Wednesday, God woke Anna and I up at exactly the same time, without any type of alarm. We had intended to sleep in so we wouldn’t have to see the girls and cry again with them before school, but we ended up waking up without an alarm anyway. We decided to watch the girls secretly through the window, so we could see them one last time. We each got up in our PJ’s and cracked the kitchen window so we could hear them worshipping and praying during their morning service.
I didn’t think I would be emotional. When the first girl (Nowang) left the building and started running around out front, I immediately started crying. The girls came out one by one (or some in groups) and I cried and held back tears the whole time with Anna. At one point, Pot and Ern walked outside and saw Anna and I through the window. Anna and I ducked and started sobbing. Pot and Ern were two girls that we really had connections with. When we looked back out the window, Pot and Ern pretended not to notice us. Next, May walked outside with Cream and Tawan. May saw us and we ran behind the kitchen door, trying not to cry. May ran up to the window and slipped a card through the cracks for me before walking away. I whispered I love you before she joined Cream and Tawan again. At that point, Cream and Tawan knew we were looking through the window.
Anna and I ran to the backdoor and peeked through the crack as the girls left Sending Hope International’s campus. Ern, Pot, Cream, Tawan and May looked back at us with tears in their eyes. Anna and I watched them leave for as long as we possibly could, before giving up and going back to bed, crying into our pillows. After getting up, Anna and I finished packing and taking showers before loading the truck. We then prayed with the staff and said goodbye before leaving the Sending Hope International campus for the last time this summer.
We spent the rest of the day up in Chiang Mai. We went out to lunch, out to an elephant show, out to dinner, then to the night bazaar. Even though we had a lot of fun, Anna and I were in tears the whole day thinking about the girls. Every song that came on our IPods somehow related to the girls. We even paid two dollars each at the night bazaar for an hour-long foot massage. However, the whole time all I could think about was the girls washing our feet. Anna and I teared up reflecting on our trip and discussing what we would remember about each girl.
When it finally came time to leaving Thailand, Anna and Joyce and I were on the same five-hour flight to South Korea. After landing in South Korea, I had a nine-hour layover before boarding my twelve-hour flight to Los Angeles. After over twenty-four hours of flights and layovers, I was thrilled to finally be reunited with my family. All four of the boys were a lot taller. Joshua is almost taller than me now and Grant continues to tower over me, loving every moment of it. The twins hit a growth spurt over the summer, too.
Thank you to everyone supported me financially and/or in prayer for this trip. I can’t begin to tell you how great of an experience this has been for me. I returned home as a completely different person, receiving comments from my family daily about how they can see positive differences in the woman I am now in comparison to who I was a month ago. I feel so on fire with my love for Christ and I don’t want this feeling to ever go away. On this trip, I also felt a clear calling to orphan ministry. I don’t know how God will orchestrate orphan ministry into my life, but I am excited to see what he has in store for me as he continues putting different pieces of the puzzle together daily.
Reuniting with everyone and adjusting to American life again is bittersweet. I missed my family so much while away, but now I feel like I left thirty little sisters in Thailand. Everyday I stop at least once to think about what time it is there and what the girls are doing right then. I miss them and I’m happy to be home, but I’m daily reminded that I left a piece of my heart in Asia.

In His Service,
Hannah Megan Boyd
Philippians 1:21